Monday 30 March 2015

How to deal with a break-up

So I'm writing this at midnight, while really poorly and listening to sad Ed Sheeran songs - great idea Bex!

But as you may or may not know, I went through a break up recently, I am now in a happy relationship so I'm not writing this to be like 'oh look how sad I am, someone love me' kind of thing, I just wanted to give anyone out there struggling a few pointers that helped me out, because I know break up's can be heart breaking.

I've been through many break ups, from people cheating, hating each other and all the rest, but this one was by far the hardest. No hatred, nothing went wrong, we just couldn't deal with the long distance anymore, it wasn't working with me having a full time job and neither of us could really afford the travel. It was pretty heartbreaking, I lost my best friend as well as the boy I loved, and had loved for nearly 3 years.

Don't blame yourself if you aren't to blame. 

This one is important, blaming yourself and hating yourself gets you nowhere. And if you are to blame, then yeah you probably did something stupid but what is worrying about it now going to do, what is done is done, so calm down and stop blaming yourself, you can't change the past.

Don't listen to 'your song' on repeat.

No, I don't mean the Elton John classic - although I suppose this could be your song. Most couples - even friends, have their song. It could even be multiple songs, an artist, an album, anything really. Listening to this and crying your heart out may seem like a good idea at the time, it's not and never will be, it will just make you feel worse.

Get rid of their things.

I know cuddling his favourite hoody, or that teddy he got you make you feel better, but as the previous, it isn't a good idea, it will just drag out that shitty feeling for even longer, the sooner you get rid of their stuff or the stuff that reminds you of them, the better. I don't really mean throwing it away, I packaged all of Dave's things up and moved them out of my room, then drove them to his house when he was home and ready, and he bought all my stuff.

Keep yourself occupied.

At the time, I had a lot going on. I had just started a new job, moved out of my mum's house, my dad was moving to the other side of the world, my cat was really poorly and then this, I really thought everything was going wrong and didn't know what to do with myself. I really pushed at work and put all my effort into that, and I actually got promoted. Although I do wish I had done stuff after work, aka blogging and making videos which this break up had a serious impact on, as well as everything else going on.

Don't push people away, pull them closer.

I always have this problem, something goes wrong and I push people away, luckily my friends and family don't let me do this, however I've lost a lot of friends in the past by doing this. Your friends and family are going to get you through this, you need them, even if you think you don't.

They are just a few bits that I thought of, feel free to comment/tweet me anything that helps you.

xoxo Bex xoxo

Twitter : @bexrenshaw
Facebook : www.facebook.com/bexrenshaw.bbb
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