Dear Diary...

I honestly feel like that should be the name of my blog at the moment, I seem to post all my exciting and product related bits on my YouTube and this is just a place for my personal inner ramblings. But I suppose that's okay, my blog has always been my personal little corner of the internet where I can just be me.

As most of you know now if you follow me on social media/YouTube, I'm Pregnant! I wish there was some amazing glittery flashing font I could put that in, but that will have to do for you, damn blogger. So things may change around here/everywhere for me. My plan was to get more regular with posting, my social media and youtube presence improved greatly however my morning sickness started. Of course it didn't stop there, I've been bedridden with Hyperemesis Gravidarum which involved throwing up every 15 minutes and not even having the energy to move or type or read or ANYTHING. It has honestly been the worst I've ever felt, and the most bored I've ever been. However that is a different post entirely, good news is after 4 attempts my doctor finally found medication that works for me and I seem to be getting better by the day, yay!

So I'm not going to be posting daily, honestly on here is where I will always post the least as it is such a personal little blog, I may create another blog that is more product/beauty based but I'm not really sure. For now, make sure you are following my social medias and YouTube and come and chat over there!

Bex Renshaw. 

Twitter : @bexrenshaw

Instagram : @bex_renshaw

YouTube : www.youtube.com/bexrenshaw
Website : www.bexrenshaw.com

#YoudNeverBelieve

Over the past few weeks I've been involved in a project called Project Teen, specifically the #YoudNeverBelieve part of this project. The project itself is AMAZING, I'll leave the link here so I'm not babbling too much! 

So I wanted to talk about my past, why this project means so much to me and things I haven't really spoken about. 

The first thing I'd like to point out is I had an amazing childhood, I can't bare to think about what some people's young lives were like and honestly I was lucky to have an amazing loving family. 

However when I was 14 I started really suffering with mental health, a lot happened and I felt like the world was against me. At 16 I got diagnosed with depression, anxiety and panic disorder. I started self harming and I thought the world wouldn't even notice if I wasn't here. I went through years of antidepressants - that actually made things worse, who knew a side effect of antidepressants is suicidal thoughts!? And counselling - which did help but only lasted 8 weeks a time, I went back 3 times which just wasn't enough. I never told my friends, family or doctor about the self harm, I still don't talk about it now, it's the hardest subject for me to talk about. 

These were the worst years of my life, and I didn't think I'd make it out. But I did. I still suffer from depression and anxiety, I can proudly say I haven't self harmed for 15 months and I haven't needed professional help for 12 months. I have such a great support system, my boyfriend is my rock and listens to whatever I need to talk about. My friends and family are just a call away whenever I need them.

I know that #YoudNeverBelieve I had been as bad as I had, it's terrifying to think that if it hadn't been for some friends, I honestly wouldn't be here now. Looking at younger me, I just want to shake little me and tell myself it will be okay, it will get better.  I wasn't as alone as I thought I was, and if I had just spoken out I could've got better a lot quicker.  

The point of this project is to let teen girls know that they aren't alone, there are so many people out there that have been through similar things and got out so much stronger. We need to unite to help the next generation be strong. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You are never alone. 

I would love to know your #YoudNeverBelieve statements, come and share them with me on twitter! 

Bex Renshaw. 

Twitter : @bexrenshaw

Instagram : @bex_renshaw

YouTube : www.youtube.com/bexrenshaw
Website : www.bexrenshaw.com

Floatation Therapy!

Hey all!

So if you've been keeping up to date with my vlogs you'll know that last week I visited a floatation centre in Stafford. It's a small building with 2 waiting rooms (one for before floating and one for after) 2 pod suites and a recovery room. The waiting rooms were both very simply decorated with beautiful pictures and small pieces of decor dotted around - without it being too in your face.

I went into the first room and spoke to the owner while I waited for my pod suite to be ready. He explained everything too me, I'm pretty sure he could see how nervous I was! He was honestly so lovely, having an understanding and helpful person that wasn't there to take my money and sell me things made the whole experience much better.

I then walked down the hall to find my pod. The rooms again were simple yet appealing. There was a shelf with ear plugs, vaseline for any cuts (you DO NOT want to get salt water in a fresh cut!) and a few other items to improve the experience. Then the shower - one thing I always critique is showers, too little or too much pressure can ruin something good. But this was just perfect.  It also had shampoo, condition and body wash. The provided were towels too so you don't have to take loads of stuff with you.

I got myself showered and ready to jump into my pod. I was pretty nervous (final destination sun beds anyone?!) but as soon as I got in there I was fine. The lid is really light so you can get in and out whenever you need. The light inside is optional so if you feel uncomfortable - or are terrified of the dark like me, you can keep the light on. Soft Music also played for the first 10 minutes and last 5 minutes. And then you just float.

I'm not sure why it shocked me so much how I floated. This sounds crazy but let me explain. The water is salt water, and I much as I tried to push my legs to the floor or lay on my side, I couldn't. I tried so I could explain properly to you guys how it worked but it was impossible.

The hour went by so quick and I ended up being much more reluctant to leave my beautiful relaxing pod and continue with my life than I expected. I felt like I had a full night's sleep. I was refreshed and ready for the day - not that I'm saying another nap wouldn't of helped me but you all know how much I love a good nap.

I then showered and washed my hair, stood for a few minutes admiring how soft my skin felt and then made my way to the 'Recovery Room'. This is a room with a mirror, hair drier and skin/hair products to help you get ready for the day/evening. I took my hair brush and heat spray with me but they provided everything else which was really amazing. I chose not to take make up as I didn't fancy wearing it after being so relaxed!

After I was all 'recovered' I went over to the second waiting room where there was a glass of water waiting for me and a guest book on the side. I wrote in my comment and had a read of the other comments in there. I was amazed by how far people had travelled, traveling to Stafford from Milton Keynes and Bolton. The owner then came over and asked how I found it etc and offered me more water - I don't think I've ever drank that amount of water in such a small sitting. He explained the benefits and I described how I found it etc. The pod's help with so many problems such as Depression, Anxiety, Fibromyalgia, Broken Bones, Asthma, Arthritis, Sprained Muscles and so much more.

The experience completely exceeded my expectations and the nerves I had were completely unnecessary. It calmed, relaxed and recharged me. I would definately recommend a visit to Time to Float whether you are local or not, it is worth trying out. I'll include some pictures of the experience below.

Check out Time To Float on social media and speak to their lovely team, feel free to tell them I sent you! Twitter @timetofloatuk, Instagram @timetofloatstafford, Facebook /timetofloatltd, Website http://www.timetofloat.co.uk

Also check out the Vlog from my visit at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-QsmHs1rj4&feature=youtu.be



Bex Renshaw. 

Twitter : @bexrenshaw

Blog Instagram : bexrenshawonline

Personal Instagram : bex_renshaw

YouTube : www.youtube.com/bexrenshaw

Selection of Products in The Recovery Room

Decor in the Waiting Room

Guest book

  

Front Desk

One of The Pods

New Year, New Me.

I've always hated that saying, something about it just really bothers me. Are we meant to become a different person each year? Is this me not good enough? What is this new me meant to be like?

The last few years I've tried setting less resolutions because I know I won't keep them. I set too many, get stressed because I'm overloading myself and just crash. So this year I only have one. Be Happy. I want this year to be the year of me. I want to finally be happy with me, with my body, with what I'm doing with my life. I have so much to look forward to this year, and so many amazing things in my life that not being happy may sound stupid to anyone looking in on my life. But my depression and anxiety really need to calm down (I'm working on it) and I plan to 'get fit' no goals are being set because I hate disappointing myself but my goal is to be happy with how I look.

I want to be happy with my YouTube, I want to get to know more bloggers and continue rambling on here when I feel like it. This is pretty much my diary that is hidden in my wardrobe and forgotten about until I need to write.

So yeah, this year is the year of me. In the least selfish way possible (because I still love you all too). Let me know what your New Years Resolutions are and I'll see you for my next ramblings soon!

Bex.

My Dream Office Wishlist

So with moving, this means I get to redo my office. Me and Ben will be sharing the office but instead of having a spare room, we both agreed that somewhere that we can film and do work is more important (I got a sofa bed instead, sorry friends).

I've been having a nosy online and came across Calibre Furniture, and after pining for some of the things I've seen on there, I thought I would pop it all into a blog post to fuel my brain into more planning. Because y'no, I don't do enough plans and lists as it is!

The prices are pretty steep, but they look so cool, it's kind of a dream wish list post, things I know I can't afford right now but wish I could. I mean, I've just bought a house so I'm struggling to afford a chocolate bar right now!

One thing to point out before I start showing you the pictures that have got my heart going fast while thinking of my dream office space, I am a sucker for storage. I have so much random stuff that I just can't (won't) get rid of, storage is one thing I just can't say no to!

The first thing I'm going to talk about is by far my favourite, I would usually leave my favourite until last but THIS, just THIS is the one thing I need in my life. It's a cave, my own personal space big enough for me to curl up (with cats) and do my work, it has a little table so I can have my macbook and actually work. Can you imagine coming home to do work and sitting on this. Click here for more breakthrough furniture!

The next thing is  a desk and chair, the chair is like a THRONE, an actual throne. They do loads of colours but cream always wins for me, either black or cream in an office with a splash of colour here and there. And then there is the desk, yes it's slightly large which I definitely do not need for my tiny little Macbook BUT LOOK AT ALL THE STORAGE. Remember me being a sucker for storage, yep.  And can you imagine THE THRONE with the STORAGE MONSTER DESK. I can't believe how excited I'm getting over furniture, but my office is my one space that has to be perfect. It is my haven in my home to film, work and play (mainly sims)   Click here for more chairs!

Okay, now for the good stuff. STORAGE. Yep I said it again, more bloody storage. I love organisation, and if they can be in pretty cabinets that just makes it even better. I feel like an old woman, storage and pretty notebooks are pretty much my life. So without further ado, these are my favourite pieces of storage. Click here for more office desks! 

              

  I love these, I actually have a little white one similar that I was given when I moved into this apartment, but this one is bigger, and better. Think of all the books and magazines and other random junk I could fit on here! Click here for  more storage.

This one, I don't think words can describe how amazing this is. I don't really drink alcohol often, but I could store ANYTHING in here. It just holds so much, and different sized drawers are always plus for me, because small things get lost in medium sized drawers and big things don't fit, so having a small AND large just makes more sense to me.

Going back to my point earlier about desk/chair being black/white/wood and the pops of colours elsewhere, THIS is what I mean. A pop of colour like this in an office would look so gorgeous. They do quite a few different colours but I just fell in love with the orange one, no idea why but it definitely happened! 

And that my friends is my dream office furniture haul wish list, whatever it is you want to call it, here it is. I can't believe how much I fell in love with the furniture on the website. The Cavern Chair was 100% my favourite and I'm not sure how I can possibly live without it now! Let me know what your favourite pieces are! If you wanted to check out their site it is http://www.calibre-furniture.co.uk

Don't forget to come and say hey!

Twitter : @bexrenshaw

Blog Instagram : bexrenshawonline

Personal Instagram : bex_renshaw

YouTube : www.youtube.com/bexrenshaw

Moving Forward

Okay, so I still can't keep up with blogging AND YouTube AND work AND having any sort of a life, so bare with me. If you want to keep up to date with me, I'll leave all the links at the bottom of this post, because posts on here are going to be irregular, but still happening when I feel like writing down  whatever is in my brain instead of filming it.

The reason I wanted to write this post is to let you all know that I am still here, and still wanting to blog, even if it is rare. And also to update you with my life.

My and Ben have bought a house, actually bought a home for us and finally got on the property ladder. This is major, it is insane that at 22 I will own my own home. It also means that I get to decorate it however I want, this blog is going to become a creative space for me to share ideas, wish lists, things I love and things I want. This blog is going to become even more diverse than before, because whatever is in my mind I'll write down.

I hope that's cool, and you'll enjoy diving into my brain - as painful as that sounds.

My channel is still going to be my priority, video's are what I love to do, I grew out of blogging but that doesn't mean I don't still love it, I just prefer being in front of a camera (something I never thought I would say)

So enjoy my posts, and don't forget to come say hey!

Twitter : @bexrenshaw
Blog Instagram : bexrenshawonline
Personal Instagram : bex_renshaw
YouTube : www.youtube.com/bexrenshaw

My 5 Favourite autumn Lipsticks!

Hey Guys and Gals.

I decided to show you which 5 Lipsticks I would be reaching for this Autumn, some you'll recognise from last year (if you follow me on social media) others you may not of seen before. If you want to see the products on then I did a video on these too, check that out here : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddaNKLtEspA&feature=youtu.be

 Loreal Colour Endure - 610 Mauve Amour

Revlon Super Lustrous - 477 Black Cherry











MakeUp Revolution - unknown (from 2015 
Advent Calendar) 

No7 Stay Perfect - Love Red

Sephora Rouge - Passion Red





The Loreal Lipstick is the one I tend to wear daily, for work etc as if I don't have time to top it up it just faded to a lip colour rather than the horrible shade reds and purples go if you don't top them up, especially after eatin! Revlon and No7 are the easiest to use, the colour doesn't spread - this is what I find happens more with the MakeUp Revolution and Sephora lipsticks. However I prefer the cool tone in the Sephora lipstick.

What lipsticks are you reaching for this Autumn? 

Don't forget to come say hey :

Twitter : @bexrenshaw

Blog Instagram : bexrenshawonline

Personal Instagram : bex_renshaw

Youtube Channel : www.youtube.com/bexrenshaw